Anonymous said: I'm an 18 y/o pansexual girl, I'm in a ldr with my girlfriend of 3 months. We haven't met in person & can't for a long time. Is it wrong of me to want to be able to have physical relations, not necessarily sex, with people but still want to be with her? Not behind her back, she would know & have the same option. How would I bring this up? I think it'd make things easier as there's no lack of physical contact then & still the emotional connection we have.
Hey, first of all it is definitely not wrong of you to want physical relations whilst in a LDR. People might judge you and tell you otherwise, but I think that open relationships are perfectly fine if both people agree on the “conditions” that are set. Emotional connection is super important as a basis of a relationship but physical intimacy is also a huge factor. It would be very frustrating as you are not physically close to her, so I can understand your standpoint. I think it would be a good idea to just talk to her, preferably via phone call or video call, and not via messages. Perhaps tell her that you feel completely dedicated to her emotionally, but that you are having a hard time without physical satisfaction. It is possible that she will think of this scenario as cheating. Depending on who she is as an individual, this might be tough news for her, or she could agree with you. Either way, explain to her that you won’t be constantly seeking out intimacy with other people, and suggest that you can both choose and agree on rules, and that you will not lie to her. Talking to her openly about this will further reinforce that you aren’t cheating and will be honest to her about it. I hope she feels the same and that things work out well x